The lost dream of Cancer

As I sit in my solitary confinement

in this long cold night assignment,

I face the north unsure if true

with the voiding darkness in the vast big blue.

I take my watch feel so lone each night,

oh how I long to reach those city lights-

where the harbour’s calling and you’re waiting tight

for my return like hundreds on a turtle flight.

We made our vows to keep us up,

we exchanged our ballads often enough.

I longed for you each passing time

with hopeful dreams for our love divine.

There was New York and a bit of Paris.

There was a ring and a long-planned marriage.

Oh how sweet and tender everything appeared,

I was deeply moved by the love you give.

But distance kept us afar for most,

and time had set us to different roads-

for as the will of surprise I descend to you,

the same welcomed me and you broke us two.

Yes our love’s uneasy with their eyes unsure,

indeed it was a secret fortified by truth.

The truth that you love me and I love you too,

faltered into nothing, less than something sure.

All the lights now flicker, I cannot see home.

Those shore lights I longed must have gone much long-

for the once warm arms I’ve assured my Rome,

had tarnished into steel I cannot return.

I did my best but you’ve tired too soon.

You’ve gave us up in instant and you stand it through.

Yet you dare to tell me you still care a friendship-

All the pain you brought me with my burning dreams…

Sorry I can’t…

Forgive me I won’t…

I can’t exist with you if not loving you.


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